mmmmmm…………… wish I’d made this.I guess this is kind of a farewell message to my life… Bacon will soon send me six feet under.
Imagine my surprise, reading the news today when I learned that Harvard boffins (love that word, oh, and also ‘boff-job’ – I mean, what does that mean?!) had concluded that eating bacon gives you bladder cancer! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Apparently some little things called nitrosamines and heterocyclic amines are to blame. The bar stewards. How dare they?! I’m incandescent with rage!
But, upon closer inspection, it seems that it’s only a problem if you eat bacon five or more times a week? Who does that (apart from truck drivers, roadies and cabbies)? So the headline of the news articles – “Bacon link to Bladder Cancer” for the BBC, “Cancer warning over the bacon sandwich” for the Express – well, they’re factually correct at least.
Oh, and when you read the story a bit further on, you learn something very interesting…

“The researchers also found people who ate bacon and other processed meats frequently were also more likely to smoke and to take in more fat and fewer vitamins. They were also less likely to exercise.”

This is it! Even I can see that! It’s lifestyle you eegits, stop blaming perfectly good bacon when it’s done nothing wrong to you. All it’s been to you is a friend on a hangover morning when you’re head is pounding and your mouth feels like a small rodent crawled into it during the night and died.
So it’s ok.

Fry me a rasher, I’ll be back for breakfast.

BBC News story here…

J.

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modern life is rubbish?

November 27, 2006

Modern Life Is Rubbish? (Cologne cityscape)

Click to see the larger image…., then click the thumbnail on the page it links to. Your browser should then let you zoom.

Am back from holiday to Deutschland, will start posting again in next day or two. I liked Cologne, but while I was at the top of the Köhler Dom (which is an amazing building BTW) I was looking out and I was a bit depressed by the landscape. Not only do I think this picture is a bit hideous, look at the chimney on the horizon, they almost lead straight into clouds which I think symbolises a lot. Lots more on the environment later this week…

J.

faith no moreYou know when you rediscover a band that you’d almost completely forgotten about? My current one is Faith No More.

It started a few weeks ago when my friends, who play in a Mr Bungle tribute band, Bungle Jnr (aside: they’re brilliant), were talking about a gig they were playing. After seeing them, I was just completely inspired to listen to as much Faith No More as possible. I hadn’t listened to them properly for at least a year – I’d completely forgotten how good they are.

Formed in the 1980s, this band were completely and utterly unique and went for around 15 years or so I think. Every LP is so diverse and creative and illustrate a band with almost too many ideas. The musical style? Well, I was discussing this last night with my friend Mike, I think they’re like an experimental hard rock act; he would argue more metal than hard rock. Either way, it’s still fucking brilliant. ‘Angel Dust’ is probably one of the best albums of the ’90s and songs are packed with wit and invention. There’s no need to rehash over old stories, as they’re all on the Internet, but the best one involves a song on ”Angel Dust‘ – ‘Land of Sunshine’.

This song was written whilst singer Mike Patton was on a three-day sleep deprevation experiment (firstly, that sounds like a brilliant idea for songwriting!) and every line of the lyrics is taken from the daytime TV, self hope shows and . Oh, and a couple from a fortune cookie! It’s absolutely exceptional and his operatic delivery of three words from the middle of the song (“varicose/comatose/senile”) is one of the funniest things I ever heard.

extract: ‘Land of SunshineAngel Dust LP
“HERE’S HOW TO ORDER!
Does life seem worthwhile to you?
Do others push you around?
Is age against you?
Sing and rejoice!
Does life seem worthwhile to you?
Does emotional music
Have quite an effect on you?
I can help you help yourself!”

There’s a FNM long argument about singers; original (Chuck Mosely) or the longest one (Patton)? For me – and maybe this is because I discovered toward the end of their career – Patton was the best thing that could’ve happened to Faith No More. As a singer, he is completely inspiring, creative and unafraid of any challenge. My favourite example of this is another song from Angel Dust

Probably my favourite song of them ALL is ‘King For A Day‘. Apparently known by the band as just ‘Acoustic’, the chiming guitar is central to its development, jangling throughout before it kicks in the middle section. Bookended with a similar outro and haunting, repeated refrain (‘Don’t let me die with this silly look in my eyes’) it runs out beautifully – it’s a brilliant song.

Their influence is immense, at the start of their career they were merging rap and metal long before their peers. But now, with it over, and the majority of music so boring – you just want more of them.

I haven’t checked out Peeping Tom yet, Patton’s new project, but I think I will now. Faith No More; ashes to ashes.faith_no_more1.jpg

Listen to Faith No More (MySpace).
Read about Faith No More
(Wikipedia).
Visit their rubbish website
(FNM.com).

– Bit shoddy that all in all. But I’m off to Germany for a week and I wanted to leave something up in the time while I’m away.This band were brilliant though. Back soon. J. (by the way, ta to the people who left comments for the last few entries… I almost got a bit excited!)

I’m gonna lift this straight from the Times Online as it’s so good, it needs no explanation. This is the best name I’ve ever heard – what a prat. Imagine his post or his bank statement… it must look ridiculous…

 “A 23-year-old James Bond fan, David Fearn, of Walsall, has changed his name to James Dr No From Russia with Love Goldfinger Thunderball You Only Live Twice On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Diamonds Are Forever Live and Let Die The Man with the Golden Gun The Spy Who Loved Me Moonraker For Your Eyes Only Octopussy A View to a Kill The Living Daylights Licence to Kill Golden Eye Tomorrow Never Dies The World Is Not Enough Die Another Day Casino Royale Bond.

The only thing is (and this wasn’t my first fault, ’twas someone at work who thought of this) what the hell is he going to do when a new film comes out? Change it again?

Rest of the Times article (all about names in UK) here.

J.

morning.

November 15, 2006

morning

J.

mother mary.

November 11, 2006

A poem, written a while ago, added to pinboard

Mother Mary.

Mother Mary is staring, looking at me,
In a Spanish grillhouse, in murky Tangier.
Why is she looking? Why does she stare?
At my eyes, at my face, every strand of my hair.
The waiter is talking, chatting us up,
For an extra mixed salad, to increase the cost.
But a void keeps returning, accompanying her gaze,
To remove any comfort and put doubt in its place.
marythumb.jpg
As thousands and millions of faces die young,
And the elderly rot from the heat of the sun;
A city is flattened with rising waves,
Exposing and opening the truth to your face.
But all of it stands detached from my eyes,
And to say that I feel it would be just a lie,
So as I sit down to chew on some meat,
I’ll feel her eyes burning and long for release.

J.

ding dong the witch is dead.

November 10, 2006

yes! Rumsfeld’s gone. cuntIt took me so long to report this news as I’ve been out celebrating his departure from the American Government.

AMERICA IS NO LONGER COMPLETELY BLIND, VOTERS HAVE FORCED BUSH TO AT LEAST DO ONE THING RIGHT FOR ONCE!

This man who has no scruples, conscience or anything. Pure and simple… the man is an absolute wanker who is responsible for Iraq. Shame W. Jnr. didn’t go with him. Arsehole.

two evil bastardson Abu Gharib: “These events occurred on my watch as secretary of defense. I am accountable for them.” Prosecute and put him in jail. This man is responsible for linking Saddam (who he visited and armed in the 1980s, suggesting Iraq went to war with Iran, which he believed would help America) to September 11, invading Afghanistan and the butchering of a country, currently taking place in Iraq. He should be stripped of all honours he has been awarded and condemned to rot in jail.

LINK: http://www.ceasefirecampaign.org

why ITV is shit.

November 1, 2006

Channel 4 thinks it’s cleverer than it is, but it’s the best nonetheless. BBC’s good, I respect it and think it’s essential to our society. It should be subsidised forever. Five is crap. So what about ITV?

Just caught ten minutes of the National Television (Advertising) Awards and it’s just displayed what a complete and utter lump of bollocks it is. Advertising is bad enough, let alone having it rammed down your throat, four times an hour, twenty-four hours a day. But ITV loves it, it makes it run at its profit. But ITV and everything it produces is trash, cop dramas, advertising vehicles (a.k.a. programmes) or jokey news with smarmy wankers presenters. And they really ruin football matches. And they make programmes like Rio’s Ferdinand’s Wind Ups. I don’t like that bloke either.

Nothing represented the channel’s lack of creativity more than its choice of music for its montage accompanying Sir David Attenborough’s . Now, everyone knows about the success of Planet Earth on the BBC earlier this year. Famously (or at least to us geeks) they used Sigur Ros’s Hoppípolla to accompany its trailer publicising the programme.
So, ITV are honouring Sir David Attenborough; of course, he is a man of nature. So for the montage honouring him, what do you think the creative minds at ITV came up with?
Yes, you’ve guessed it. But it’s better.

They used FOUR tracks (sæglópur, heysátan, gong, glósóli) from same LP that Hoppípolla comes from, 2006’s Takk.

This distinct lack of creativity sums it up in a nutshell.

They also played a clip from Emmerdale in the nominations for best soap. I think that’s ITV, I don’t know. They had this explosion in the programme. It was ridiculous. One thing exploded first on the first floor and then the whole house collapsed don upon each other, leaving just enough time between each floorboard breaking so the characters could give each other longing looks of love. EastEnders won I think and that’s just as crap.

Sir David Attenborough, though, what a legend. A true man who deserves to be called Sir.