why ITV is shit.

November 1, 2006

Channel 4 thinks it’s cleverer than it is, but it’s the best nonetheless. BBC’s good, I respect it and think it’s essential to our society. It should be subsidised forever. Five is crap. So what about ITV?

Just caught ten minutes of the National Television (Advertising) Awards and it’s just displayed what a complete and utter lump of bollocks it is. Advertising is bad enough, let alone having it rammed down your throat, four times an hour, twenty-four hours a day. But ITV loves it, it makes it run at its profit. But ITV and everything it produces is trash, cop dramas, advertising vehicles (a.k.a. programmes) or jokey news with smarmy wankers presenters. And they really ruin football matches. And they make programmes like Rio’s Ferdinand’s Wind Ups. I don’t like that bloke either.

Nothing represented the channel’s lack of creativity more than its choice of music for its montage accompanying Sir David Attenborough’s . Now, everyone knows about the success of Planet Earth on the BBC earlier this year. Famously (or at least to us geeks) they used Sigur Ros’s Hoppípolla to accompany its trailer publicising the programme.
So, ITV are honouring Sir David Attenborough; of course, he is a man of nature. So for the montage honouring him, what do you think the creative minds at ITV came up with?
Yes, you’ve guessed it. But it’s better.

They used FOUR tracks (sæglópur, heysátan, gong, glósóli) from same LP that Hoppípolla comes from, 2006’s Takk.

This distinct lack of creativity sums it up in a nutshell.

They also played a clip from Emmerdale in the nominations for best soap. I think that’s ITV, I don’t know. They had this explosion in the programme. It was ridiculous. One thing exploded first on the first floor and then the whole house collapsed don upon each other, leaving just enough time between each floorboard breaking so the characters could give each other longing looks of love. EastEnders won I think and that’s just as crap.

Sir David Attenborough, though, what a legend. A true man who deserves to be called Sir.

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27 Responses to “why ITV is shit.”

  1. Leo said

    I totally agree, ITV is complete and utter shite. Advert city, crap programs and lately with the late evening telephone quiz games, every night, makes me think that it’s crossed some invisible line from just shit to offensive. I’m wondering if there is a way to actually block the piece of shit channel from even entering my TV? If not now then perhaps someday soon, we’ll have more control over what channels we want and DON’T want!
    Failing that, I’m very tempted to just kill the TV.
    In my opinion, ITV have ruined Television, and all good that ever could come from it.
    Their sole ain is profits… not about service and quality, and here in lies the problem.

    They make me sick.

  2. J said

    Couldn’t agree more my friend!

    Don’t kill the TV though, at least flog it on ebay!

    J.

    • lawrence weston said

      itv is crap my sunday night ruined the wants to watch the itv crap ie prancing on ice and the shit african vet program

      • COLIN FLOWERDAY said

        ITV doesnt know the meaning of the word entertainment way back in the 1950s ATV LONDON made VAL PARNELLS SUNDAY NIGHT AT THE PALLADIUM. LORD LEW GRADE knew how to make legendary entertainment as he took risks and made ATV the greatest tv company this country ever had. itv on the sunday churns out prancing on ice and shit africian vet programme yet they axe HEARTBEAT and the ROYAL how more stupid can you get what will we get more of that trash the cube. BRING BACK BULLSEYE ON A SUNDAY NIGHT lets have JIM BOWEN and TONY GREEN back in this classic gameshow. NO MORE CHEAP TRASHY REALITY CRAP LIKE IM A CELERITY GET THIS SHITE OFF BRITISH TELLY as big brother was the last straw so bury it. ITV is doomed to die a painful death and be swallowed up by someone who can make enterainment like LEW GRADE could not endless crap.

  3. T said

    Every program on ITV is piss-boring reality crap..I’m a complete drongo get me out of here. Bloody chat shows or gossip mongers are us. I agree about the sodding quiz shows.. for Christ’s sake if their going to have 24hr TV put some proper programs on. What happened to adventure and intrigue progs like “The Avengers” or Man From Uncle, Dangerman and the such.. Even comedy is depressing these days. And as for bloody DIY progs if I want to do DIY I will go out and by a teach it yourself video or read a book I donot want it rammed down my throat 5 days a week.

    My rant is over!

  4. chris said

    I think ITV is abysmal and has been for a good number of months now. In the past there were some very drawing aspects to ITV, such as movies on at 9pm most nights. After that would be a late night movie which seems to have been replaced by quiz shows that are appalling. There’s great controversy to whether these are even shows that you can win money on. I personally think that it’s fixed and they’re profiting from our ignorance.

    I don’t know the pre-requisites to ITVs lack of interest in quality of service over the last few months but I don’t understand what the hell they hope to achieve.

  5. m said

    ITV1 has become nothing more than a televisual
    version of a low-brow woman’s weekly like “Chat”
    or “Bella”. First are the endless soaps, in
    which the women are always the redeeming
    characters struggling through a humdrum life
    permeated with either gormless or philandering
    men. Then we have the feminocentric dramas –
    Kay Mellor’s Love-Life-Friendship-Babies part
    367. Add to this celebrity tittle-tattle by the
    boat load, shows about carrots causing cancer,
    shows about binge drinking, Soapstar
    Karaoke, Stars in your Eyes for soap stars,
    Family Fortunes Soap Star special, Jeremy Kyle,
    Loose Women, Reality this, Reality that… utter
    mindless drivel the lot of it.

  6. Lee Johnson said

    I agree with everything that has been writen by everyone here about ITV. I can remember a time when ITV was looked upon as producing some wonderful dramas “Brideshead Revisted” for example and “Jewel in the Crown”. Even “Coronation Street” was looked upon as being good quailty drama. But now they have nothing that is good. There is nothing on ITV that makes me think… “Hmmm I think I’ll watch that”. In my household we have always been avid television watchers and I have to say that we now mainly watch all the BBC channels! I think the BBC now has the cutting edge on all the channels. I don’t mind paying a TV Licence and I hope to God that Tessa Jowel never gets rid of it.
    I will tell you what went wrong with ITV is when they made it corporate and got rid of the regional companies. That was when ITV was good.

  7. MC Chav said

    No ways bruv, dats totally wrong. Ah luv ITV.

    -innit

    • Monsieur bell end said

      Hopefully you are taking the piss 🙂

      If not then you are obviously a totally literate fuckwit. If this is the case, you are ITV’s target audience.

  8. J said

    each unto their own

  9. Carrie said

    I dislike ITV. All their new dramas they seem to come up with are rip-offs of other shows. Eg: Moving Wallpaper is a crappier version of the US Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip.

    I find the soaps dull and boring and I’m sick to death of Dancing on Ice and all their reality shows. I also HATE the constant promotion of it.. Even on shows like Loose Women and This Morning they’re promoting Dancing on Ice, it’s ridiculous.

    It’s unfortunate that the only profit they seem to make is from the reality crap.

    I think they need to get rid of the rubbish and get some new younger writers in to spice it up.

  10. seanist said

    itv is for copycats by copycats. they cannot make a single original feature and when they do its completely shit.

    If it doesnt have robson green, ross kemp, john barrowman or celebtrities attempting a normal everyday task or activity… your watching the wrong channel. congratulations, welcome to the active thinkers of society and goodbye to the mindless itv population. They cant even edit a film correctly if the content is slightly dodgy for gods sake. run by animals and idots for animals and idiots.

  11. Marcus said

    Channel 4 is not the best. It’s the worst by miles, full of programmes supposed to shock people or be ‘down wiv da yoof’ when it’s just embarassing.

  12. tom said

    itv is awful, it ruins football, watching the champions league final now, they have ruined it for me. its utter bollox, the commentators should be shot. i could make better sounds from my arse than they sound!

  13. Chris said

    I haven’t watched ITV for years, their morning show is for the dumbest or fans of reality nonsense. The evenings are just full of absolute rubbish drama, soaps or dated quiz shows. There is nothing on their network that I would actually look at in a schedule and think oh I want to watch that. Without C4 (occasionaly) and the BBC British TV would be s dead duck. Why can the US produce quality drama and we can’t, how come the BBC and Discover Channel and alike can make doccumentaries that broaden the mind and are worth watching whilst ITV just lays fresh turds week in week out.

  14. matt said

    thankyou! at last some people who share my views on itv.Utter,utter shite.The only good thing on that channel is Harry Hill.And do you know why?BECAUSE HE TAKES THE PISS OUT OF I T FUCKING V!!!!!!

  15. ITV Can suck my balls said

    ITV IS ABSOLUTE FUCKING ARSE WANK

    I fucking despise the channel with every bone in my body, they constantly try to rip people off by pumping out the same old Reality shit with voting scams.
    Dancing On Ice, I am a celebrity, X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent etc etc

    I now see they have started this new show 3 @ Three, which lets face it is GMTV mixed with Loose Women.
    As if i give a fuck what some fucking tart has to say.

    Now they are starting a new chat show Michael Ball, well thats just the Alan Titchmarsh show under another name.

    ITV, is a fucking joke, i am praying they start charging for their channels, lets see how long it is before you go down the shitter and go bust then

    ITV FUCKTARDS!!!!!!

  16. AphexTwin said

    Itv is Louis Walsh imo. Both scum. I usually watch every Top Gear episode fully, Louis if youre reading this but every piece of shit music you endorse made me have to turn off. Youre scum, ITV is scum Jeremy Kyle is scum, only thing ITV has is Harry Hill.

  17. Steve said

    ITV programs are the most pathetic low-brow dog shit I have ever seen. At least five have a sense of humour and are under no illusions. ITV actually believe that when they churn out speutum like Kerry Katona the next chapter they are actually making watchable t.v. ITV have slowly killed themselves by compromising quality for money like all businesses

    • COLIN FLOWERDAY said

      ITV should be called SHITV as the rubbish they churn out today is a disgrace. in the days of LEW GRADES ATV you got legends like the prisoner randell and hopkirk diseased and dangerman. LORD LEW GRADE knew what entertainment was and made MORCAMBE AND WISE famous at ATV LONDON in 1955 the greatest double act this country ever had. these loonatics now want to close the ANGLIA TV STUDIOS in norwich as ANGLIA made SALE OF THE CENTURY and so many other great series. ITV will now destroy itself and its demise would be great for british television bring back THAMES ASSOCIATED REDIFFUSION ABC ATV SOUTHERN AND LWT. itv has no future what it has become is stale nasty cheap rubbish that nobody wants to watch as anything that was popular was cancelled so now lets cancel itv and call everything ATV WORLDWIDE.

  18. Laurie Johnston said

    I’m trying to watch the FA cup highlights. There are more ads than football. Total f*****g garbage !

    • ATV MIDLANDS was making legendary shows in 1955 they knew how to make entertainment everything from CROSSROADS to SUNDAY NIGHT AT THE LONDON PALLADIUM as LEW GRADE was the greatest television company owner ever. ITV is crap to a point you can bear to watch it im now watching 50 year old shows made by ATV as theres nothing worth watching on a night telly so sad and at least ATV still exists.

  19. […] January 14, 2012 at 5:28 amITV programs are the most pathetic low-brow dog shit I have ever seen. At least five have a sense of humour and are under no illusions. ITV actually believe that when they churn out speutum like Kerry Katona the next chapter they are actually making watchable t.v. ITV have slowly killed themselves by compromising quality for money like all businesses […]

  20. magnus said

    ITV is indeed the unscrupulous, fallacious pile of a shite I’ve ever seen, heard or even had the displeasure of experiencing. I am very happy I was never exposed to this type of mindless garbage as a child in the 90’s and even now.

    ‘International TV’ profit from the mental integrity of retards and even they have more intelligence than anyone who watches ITV constantly. Probably all the reason why I have to come across smarmy arseholes from College/High School.

    One program has really taken the piss and it is Made In Chelsea and it’s other fucking annoying counterparts. What is really laughable is the script – it is so childish you can think it was made from literally a horny 12 yearold mind and it is so dry and barren of any suspense or drama you could pick up and it will wither away into dust – and so concentrated in what it delivers – it literally seeks out filthiness in the form of constant jabs and taunts and sexual suggestions in the form of another season. There’s absolutely no plot to this horseshite.

    Who in the absolute fuck thought that was even adequate? Eh, thats my two cents.

  21. Jay said

    Nearly ten years on and it’s still shit, in fact even more shit, even more dumbed down, even more self-serving. Emmerdale strives to teach us about a new social issue each episode whilst promoting criminality and murder and getting away with breaking the law it as if it were the norm.
    Jeremy Kyle still strives to serve the ferrell and feckless as if to make them feel they’re the norm!
    This Morning is pure tabloid in a telly show. And one of my biggest pet hates is London Tonight regional news which is so agenda led that it’s shameless; why should I want my face rubbed in endless multiculturalism and centre-left drivel every day and night? It’s meant to be a news show!
    Essentially I truly believe that ITV is run and produced by a Centre-Left and Liberal Elite now; that wish to keep their dribbling and murmuring and stupid audience increasingly more dribbling and murmuring and stupid; they thereby keep the top jobs for themselves their children and their children’s children. Indeed they’re probably not stupid enough to watch their own shit!
    Oh and I’ve not even had the pleasure of ITV-B…..

  22. ITV was better back in the day when it regional, Granada, Yorkshire Televion, Grampion Tyne Teese, and who could ever forget LWT and Themes and of course ATV/Central, some of the DVDs i have of early ITV shows like the Sweeney, Auf Wiedrsehen Pet, The Avengers have the regional logos at the start, reminding us all how dam good ITV was back then

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