Watched a programme…

August 21, 2007

The Oldest Person In The World. CHANNEL FOUR.

I taped a bit of a programme last night by accident after leaving the timer on from a film the night before. The TV rolled and a documentary played as they, the oldest people in the world (from 101 to 113 years old, to the longest living person in the world, 114-year-old Emma). Was living too long a burden? What was their secret to living so long? Could they even hear the question?

There was a moment in the programme when one lady, Charlotte, told of how she didn’t like being over a century of age, I think she was 110. But she didn’t say hardly anything. Her body, her face, the tear in her eye said it all. The voiceover relayed how she had outlived her children. Was she shappy? Evidently not. As they moved her to a new abode (her care home was shutting down) she changed an earlier answer to a question; her perfect age to live to was no longer 100, it was now 90 years old.

J.

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This is quite possibly my favourite song ever…

J.

What is it about this time of year?

First you get the newspapers regaling you in advance about just how miserable everyone will be for the next month or so. Then they tell you half the people are fine as none of them are at blooming work anyway – at least not until January 8 apparently. They can’t even make up their minds, and I think that’s a problem for a lot of people now.

It’s all this end of year stuff too. It’s just a time that people (at least those who don’t fret about their direction or definition every single day of their so far meaningless lives) take stock, all because that little number at the end of the date clicks over, we reset back to the all powerful 01 of 01, and it suddenly seems to make people go crazy for a few weeks. New start and all that.

Like New Years Resolutions, I just find it a bit bizarre y’know? Why not change during the year? Why not change make these changes on a Thursday in November. Is it just this period of assessment that makes us do this? Or just the symbolism of that last digit clicking over?

It’s more likely to happen and be something stuck to if it happened at some point during the year, without everyone repeatedly asking how’s it going. Maybe sub-consciously, the person knows that most resolutions fail and that’s part of it all. Or maybe they’re just determined, I don’t know, I just suppose I don’t think everyone (or anyone?) is actually going to keep it up.

So what about me, did I make one? I tried to think of one (fucking hypocrite). I got a text at 2am on the (all powerful) 01 of 01 from a friend saying ‘here’s mine, what’s yours?’. So I thought and typed out ‘I’m going to be productive‘. Next morning though, when I was deleting old messages on the phone I saw that in my drunken state I’d actually typed ‘I’m going un be productive‘. Now, while that may not be grammatically accurate, I think it’s the kiss of death to that thought process already.

Incidentally, the friend wanted to not swear so much this year. I suppose that’s pretty easy really. I’m disproved immediately. I suppose the only conclusion I can come to, is pick something that doesn’t cost money at least. Or just go to the fucking gym and use the membership and don’t lose all the money you accumulate from working a job. (Warning: sweeping generalisation alert…) Especially when quite a lot of you hate your jobs anyway and wouldn’t be there if you didn’t need the cash.

One day, maybe I’ll be able to say: “This year, my resoulution is to be a man of leisure’. That’d be nice.

x, J.

When I started writing this blog, I said to myself that I wouldn’t have a limit on the types of thing I wanted to post. Primarily, I wanted it to be for my writings and pictures, but I suppose I wanted it to be whatever was there at the time. So what’s on my mind today?

Josie Grove.josie grove

All over the media today, Josie is a 16-year-old girl from Northumberland who was diagnosed two years ago with a rare form of leukaemia. After two years of needles and therapy, which has unfortunately failed to impact on her cancer, she has decided to reject any further treatment and has chosen to live her life as full as she can for the next few months she has left.
In a weird way, I feel like I almost want to meet the young lady. No, not in a weird creepy way, but I almost want to meet her, see how she is really is and congratulate her on her attitude. In the sick way the mind works, I’ve thought about this and always hoped that I’d have the balls to do what’s right for me in that situation – especially if it was to continue receiving treatment and be weak and ill for the slightest chance, or to live life as fully as I could for the time I had left. She has more balls than me, especially right now.
Today she will receive a bravery award after being nominated by her nurses at the hospital she stayed at before. She obviously makes an impression on everyone she meets and spends time with. If you can’t be impacted by a brave woman in this situation, then you’ve completely lost touch with reality. More than anything, it just makes you think how much of your time you’re wasting.
I found it very interesting the way the story was covered. Arguably the most emotive way was the BBC news last night, when you could see her father welling up as he told how proud he was of her and her decisions. However, I did not like the Times headline of ‘Take me home to die, says cancer girl’. I’d rather they’d tried to identify her as something else other than ‘cancer girl’. It’s too cold, factual and has no grasp of the emotion or situation- which really, let’s face it is the point of covering the story. I find it a bit condescending, in the way it sounds.

She’s definitely a very mature woman, who realises that certain thing’s are there to be accepted and the only thing you can do is make the best of a bad situation. She could be on a street corner, smashing up things and acquiring ASBOs. She’s an absolute credit to herself and her family.

Just hope she has the best time she can and that life is an adventure from now on for her. Stay beautiful.

BBC video news report.

mother mary.

November 11, 2006

A poem, written a while ago, added to pinboard

Mother Mary.

Mother Mary is staring, looking at me,
In a Spanish grillhouse, in murky Tangier.
Why is she looking? Why does she stare?
At my eyes, at my face, every strand of my hair.
The waiter is talking, chatting us up,
For an extra mixed salad, to increase the cost.
But a void keeps returning, accompanying her gaze,
To remove any comfort and put doubt in its place.
marythumb.jpg
As thousands and millions of faces die young,
And the elderly rot from the heat of the sun;
A city is flattened with rising waves,
Exposing and opening the truth to your face.
But all of it stands detached from my eyes,
And to say that I feel it would be just a lie,
So as I sit down to chew on some meat,
I’ll feel her eyes burning and long for release.

J.

Awful headline. Disgraceful.
Today, we draw our attention to a historical archive that’s being run by the National Trust. October 17 has been designated as a day to capture the ordinary. They want everyone’s words, they want people to post as many different daily blogs as possible, as a resource for people in ten years, twenty years, a hundred years etc. Read about it here. Really. It’s actually really fucking interesting. The actual archive is here. Go post yours.

And now, for your reading pleasure is the entry I put into the historical archives…

“Woke up. Got out of bed. Didn’t drag a comb across my head because I’ve just had a haircut and it’s not long enough.

Bit of Johnson rage this morning. Ignore it though, have to help him out later, well late for work so run to the shower and step in. Fecking freezing. What a bar steward. Underground crap, rammed with people, causes lots of people to tut all the time. Lots of people sneeze. I shut off with music and read. Much better.

Went to work. I work for a breast cancer charity, Breast Cancer Care. Do lots of web work, I like to call it ‘Web Monkey’ work, but really it’s just writing content, text, doing images etc. for our website. It helps people reach out to each other and educates about breast cancer. Very good organisation, I actually don’t feel guilty for being a capitalist, profit based, arsehole everyday. I feel I have a bit of social responsibility. I like it. But really I’m just as bad as everyone else, no matter how much I tell them off for things, I’m still playing the system to. There is nothing left, no alternatives, you can only join in with the rape of the natural world.

At lunchtime, I reinforce this by walking down streets and buying things. Well, normally I would, but I’m skint because I forgot to pay my rent. Spent a lot of time thinking about the novel I’m trying to write, listened to music on my MP3 player, then worried phenomenally about how dissatisfied I’ll probably end up on my death bed, when I’ve been to lazy to follow my hopes and dreams. Read about the war in Iraq. Thought how evil George W. Bush is. Thought about whether Tony Blair’s more evil. Thought about national blogging day. Thought about how I’m having to leave work for reasons I shall not mention here, but are not my fault. Went and got a pint in a bar. Liquid lunch.

Thought about how bad it is that we have so many cars. Thought of great literature and music. If anyone bothers to read this, read some Charles Bukowski. Please.

Am now writing in preparation for going home from work. You won’t know what’ll happen then as I’m writing this now. Bus and train home, smoke some cigarettes, cook whatever food I can and then go to the pub to binge drink. You’ll have to guess what’ll happen to the rest of the day.

Maybe I’ll help the Johnson.

My song for today is relevant I think. ‘How Soon Is Now?’ by the Smiths. Even if everyone in the future has never heard of them, the thoughts, the communication… I bet it still rings true:

“You shut your mouth/How can you say?/I go about things the wrong way?/I am human and I need to be loved/Just like everybody else does” “.

What do you think? x, J.

roll the dice.

October 11, 2006

roll ‘em…

It’s a pisser when things don’t work out the way you want them to. The problem with life is, you always get carried away. You kind of assume things will happen and when people let you down you’ve got to take the come down. Then comes the recognition, realisation (oh for fuck’s sake) and there are two things you can do:

  1. Take the shit, keep your head down and don’t whinge
  2. Roll the dice.

See, I think life is just a series of choices. Not good or bad, just choices. There are no answers, only choices. Rolling the dice is when this moment rears its head. You don’t know where it’s going to come from, you don’t know where it will lead, you just hope that the grass can be greener somewhere else. (I wonder how many clichés I can use today?)

So the way I try to think of it, is I just have to change the situation. I may not think it’s fair or anything, but what the fuck does it matter anyway? Decision made. Out of my hands. I just got to take the gamble and roll…

Peace, J.